ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
