its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
