Sry I called you an 8
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
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He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
we're so committed to being not committed
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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