Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
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