My hand turned me down
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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