I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
