she woke up with a sticky ear
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
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I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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