well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
