Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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