Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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