last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.