her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
