I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
As shirtless as possible
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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