its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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