You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
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