Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
my being single is dangerous.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
