508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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