what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
drinking out of a sandbucket again
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
