; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
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