it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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