Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize