If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
