Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
