I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
