About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
