There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I think I died a long time ago.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Randomize
