Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
