I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
