He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
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