Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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