We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
i now understand why vodka
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
