Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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