So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize