I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
