she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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