take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Acid is not a monday night drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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