The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
