you're like a bully in the Christmas story
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize