i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Hippo gnu deer
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
