YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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