I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
everyone is single if you try hard enough
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Randomize
