my sisters under your porch take her home
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
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coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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