Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
