I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
