uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
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I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
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I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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