awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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