hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
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