i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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