I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
