Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize