I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
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its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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