my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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