But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
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lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
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I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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