The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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