the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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