Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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