Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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