I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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