you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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