Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize