1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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