I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
