just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Randomize
